5 months ago
68
I went to Ema and told her that the money she had given me the previous day was not enough to buy the book I needed. Ema gave me more money. Bob and I went to Asha Cinema for the second time. Having learnt our lessons from the previous day’s mishap, we were extra cautious with the money. The tickets had to be bought before they were sold out. It often happened that towards the end tickets were sold at a higher price to people who were willing to buy them at any cost. To avoid such a situation, we reached the hall very early. We managed to get two front row seats. I was utterly charmed by the movie. It felt like every man must be like Richard Gere, kind-hearted and handsome.
Immediately after coming out of the hall, I wanted to go to the bazar to buy clothes. Bob said with a knowing smile that I must be thinking of dressing like Julia Roberts. He assured me that Julia Roberts’ style would suit me. ‘Your figure and complexion are good. You can dress in any style, any dress will compliment you,’ he said encouragingly. We went to Paona Bazar in a rickshaw. I bought a red-coloured fabric, three metres long, at an affordable price. From Paona Bazar, we went to Selection House at Alu Galli.
There were piles of clothes on display in the shop. I turned these piles over, again and again. Finally, I spotted a loose white shirt, like the one Julia Roberts had worn in the film. I showed it to Bob, and asked, ‘Will this look do?’ In the veritable euphoria of Pretty Woman, no explanation was needed, Bob understood what I meant. He gave an affirmative nod, ‘All right, nupi.’ I found my version of Julia Roberts’ iconic white shirt on the day I watched Pretty Woman. I bought the shirt for fifteen rupees. It was a very good day, a small segment of my dream seemed to have come true.
On our way back, we could not stop talking about Pretty Woman. We seemed to reach home in no time.
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Bob’s favourite character in the movie was Julia Roberts’ friend. I was obsessed with the last scene in which Richard Gere walks in the rain, holding an umbrella, looking for Julia Roberts. The way Julia Roberts’ character dressed, her attitude, her poise, all seemed very sexy to me, I was deeply and truly inspired. Also, the the scene in which Julia Roberts hitches a lift from Richard Gere left a lasting impression on my mind.
From that day onwards, I modelled my style on Julia Roberts’ in Pretty Woman. The small sum with which I had bought the red material and white shirt in the rapturous aftermath of the film was the last bit of money in my possession. I did not buy any book. Anticipating Ema’s questions, I borrowed a book from Bob, which I held in my hand for Ema to see. Before reaching home, I stopped at Ta Nando’s house. His father was a tailor, and I wanted to get a pair of half-pants stitched, a la Julia Roberts.
Nando’s father did not have much idea about the design I wanted. He showed me an old catalogue that had Chinese models wearing different cuts and designs of pants. We flicked through the pages of the catalogue to find the style I wanted, but none of the designs resembled the half-pants of my dreams. We chose a style that we thought was somewhat similar, for lack of a better option. He said that it would take him four days to make the pants. I asked him to do it in one or two days, but he said he could not do it in less than three. A day less was not enough to quell my impatience but I had no choice but to wait.
My mind constantly went back to the piano scene and the last scene of the movie. The scenes haunted me even when I was eating my evening meal and when I went to bed that night. The following day, I visited Nando’s father, and for the next couple of days I continued to visit him and sit with him for a while till the moment the half-pants were ready and delivered into my hands. I was there when the fabric was being cut into the required shape, and when he began stitching it. Noticing my childlike impatience, his daughter asked me, ‘You come here every day! What kind of dress are you getting made?’ I replied that it was a pair of half-pants. Then I began to worry that my ridiculous visits would be reported back to my family, which would definitely lead to questions being asked and create many problems for me.
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To circumvent such troubles, I presented Ta Nando’s father with a few sticks of bidis that I had stealthily removed from Baba’s bidi packets. He said that I could visit him without the bidis too. Despite his protests, I continued to offer him bidis, in the hope that he would stich the pants sooner, and also reduce his charges as much as possible.
As soon as the pair of half-pants was ready, I changed into them and went to Poison’s house. Poison was highly impressed by the sheer boldness of my attire. I told him that my style was directly inspired by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. What did he think about the pants? He said that in the bright daylight, the red colour of the half-pants shone redder. That day, Poison had a request to make to me, ‘I want to borrow your dress on Yaosang. Please don’t lend your dress to anyone else before I wear it.’ Yaosang was the Manipuri equivalent of Holi.
I cannot explain why, but the radical change in my style of dressing was accompanied by visible changes in my mannerisms. My voice became more feminine. Not surprisingly, my family and the neighbours interpreted me as some kind of joke. My likes and dislikes, what I thought and felt, was ignored, as I was not considered a respectable human being. This was a challenge to whatever I was and stood for. Their challenge was met with an aggressive passivity—I ignored all, everyone who did not care to understand or respect me.
Extracted from The Yellow Sparrow: Memoir of a Transgender by Santa Khurai, translated by Rubani Yumkhaibam. Published by Speaking Tiger Books, 2023.
